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SUNDAY, JANUARY 15, 2006
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SCOTT MORRIS

Difference between men, women

Did you know that women have a superhighway connecting their right and left brains?

This is the kind of important information that men can learn in the waiting room of the eye doctor.

When a man's pupils are dilated, it limits his selection of magazines. He can't read about the 10 hottest sports cars or how to bag a trophy buck or whether the Colts will win the Super Bowl.

He takes whatever the large-print edition of Reader's Digest gives.

The article that mentions the female superhighway challenges the concept that men don't have feelings. We do have feelings. We just don't know it.

In fact, the emotional lives of men are just as rich and complex as those of women, according to the article. The only difference is that testosterone keeps us from getting in touch with our feelings.

"Men have to work at it," says Josh Coleman, Ph.D., author of "The Lazy Husband."

Obviously men are not his target audience.

The Reader's Digest story heralds the strong connection that women have between reasoning and feelings. Women talk to clear their heads, but men think before they talk.

It's not beyond a man, however, to show emotion. What man hasn't fought back tears while watching Vin Diesel wreck a perfectly good turbo-charged 350ZX? Yes, we do have feelings.

Still, many men are emotionally clueless, says the article, which was written by a woman.

She blames the male brain.

"Men are hard-wired differently," says one of her experts, David Powell, Ph.D. "Women have the equivalent of an interstate highway, so they move readily between the right and left brains."

Hold on there, Dr. Powell.

Just because the two halves of a man's brain are connected by a narrow pig trail doesn't mean we don't have a superhighway of our own. It's just headed in a different direction.

A man's superhighway runs north and south, creating a vital route of information that ensures the survival of the species.

By contrast, a woman's east-west route ensures the survival of florists and candymakers, who benefit when men are clueless.

Men don't need an east-west superhighway because they can function perfectly well with half a hemisphere. This is why a woman routinely compliments her man by saying "He only has half a brain."

All of this, of course, leads to a more important question that strikes at the emotional heart of men: Why doesn't Field and Stream publish a large-print edition?

Scott Morris Scott Morris
DAILY City Editor

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