News from the Tennessee Valley Columnists

Steve Stewart

Duck! An intruder is in the house

Sgt. Gary Walker of Decatur, now retired, was a detective for 20 of his 25 years with the Police Department. Recently his stepdaughter, Jennifer Robbins, gave him a mystery to solve and a fugitive to catch.
"There's a crow flying around inside my house," Jennifer said.
Armed with a broom, Gary headed to the scene and found a duck. He chased it through the den, kitchen, hall and bedroom before subduing it, unhurt. He set it free outdoors.
"The young mallard wasn't dirty, and she has no idea how long it had been in the house when she got home, but there were only two ways it could have gotten in," Gary says. "That was either the doggie door or down the chimney. In any case, the whole family got a good laugh."

Saturday's child

John Caddell of Decatur, still practicing law as his 95th birthday approaches, notes that "I was born on a Saturday." He cites the rhyme that says, "Saturday's child must work for a living."
His work and volunteer service are not all indoors. Patrice Stewart spotted him using a golf cart to chauffeur ladies across Point Mallard Park for a charity fashion show.
When is his birthday? Saturday, of course.

Dark glasses

It's just a rumor that Decatur City Councilman Gary Hammon is trying to pass himself off as Tom Cruise.
Gary is making his business and council rounds in a very large, very dark pair of sunglasses, reports Martin Burkey.
Gary's vision started getting cloudy in September 2004. His doctor first diagnosed it as macular degeneration. Gary was resigned to losing his vision until April 2, when he felt a sharp pain in the eye. He went to the doctor again and learned, happily, that the problem was a torn retina that could be reattached.
He had surgery April 7 and says he's recovering nicely.

Sharp future leaders

Morgan County Government Day at the courthouse impressed Sheryl Marsh.
Students participating in a mock County Commission meeting and trial were bright and focused. They will be sharp future leaders, and parents and teachers certainly have bragging rights, Sheryl says.
Probate Judge Bobby Day and members of American Legion Post 15 coordinate the annual event.

'Sausage Nazi'

The television show "Seinfeld'' featured a character Jerry Seinfeld called the "Soup Nazi,'' a German restaurant owner who demanded that patrons follow certain rules to buy his delicious soup.
The Boston Red Sox had their own real-life version running a concession stand at spring training in Fort Myers, Fla., when Bayne Hughes visited recently.
A patron complained that the sausage in his footlong sandwich was too small. The concession employee's terse response was not repeatable, but basically she told the man he got what he ordered, she would not replace it, and he should enjoy it.
Her response earned her the nickname "Sausage Nazi'' from the patron and his buddy.

DAILY Weekend Editor Steve Stewart compiles and edits You Don't Say. If you have an item of community interest, call Steve at 340-2444, e-mail him at, or write to You Don't Say, THE DECATUR DAILY, P.O. Box 2213, Decatur, AL 35609.

Steve Stewart Steve Stewart
DAILY Weekend Editor

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