News from the Tennessee Valley Columnists

Steve Stewart

Spoil Mom if you've got the money

This last-minute gift idea for Mother's Day — called an "Indulgence" package — comes from Patrice Stewart:

Give Mom a weekend in the Presidential Suite at the Four Seasons Hotel in Chicago, where she will be chauffeured in a Maybach, Mercedes-Benz's first luxury vehicle. It's hers to drive home.

But first she gets a $10,000 shopping spree at Ralph Lauren's store and a day at The Spa, followed by a Dom Perignon champagne reception at Graff, where she receives a bracelet set with 17 carats of pink and yellow diamonds in a floral motif.

Be ready with the defibrillator, though, when the man of the house hears the price: $1 million.

When he comes to, promise him he can drive the Maybach.

(Patrice is my wife, but I'm going to assume her interest in this is professional, not personal.)

Darehego horses around

Morgan County Sheriff Greg Bartlett purchased a horse for sons Tyler and Drew.

"They love him," Greg said.

The horse's name is Darehego. Sheryl Marsh passes on Greg's explanation.

"He easily slips out of his halter, and when he does, 'there he goes.' He takes off running."

NASA's fireworks show

Boeing Co. in Decatur makes the Delta II, Delta IV and Delta IV Heavy rockets. NASA is using a Delta II for a mission called Deep Impact.

The rocket will collide with a comet, allowing scientists to learn more about the creation of the universe.

It will happen on the Fourth of July, says Jay Wilson. Do you suppose they can make it part of the fireworks at Point Mallard?

Higher education

Rep. Alvin Holmes, D-Montgomery, cautioned colleagues to pay attention to Rep. Jeff McLaughlin's concerns about a telephone deregulation bill, according to M.J. Ellington.

The Guntersville lawmaker "wanted us to send this bill to a study committee the way they did in Georgia," Alvin said. "He can't understand it, and he is a graduate of Harvard Law School."

"Is that why he can't understand it?" someone quipped.

Coming of age

M.J. adds that Gov. Bob Riley told senior citizens that creaky joints remind him he is getting older.

" 'Sometimes it is bad to be middle-aged,' " the governor quoted himself. "Then someone said back to me, 'What do you mean, middle-aged? You've got a boy who is 40. He is the one who is middle-aged.' "

Clean living

Angie Gilchrist reports that Mass at Good Shepherd Catholic Church in Huntsville included singing "Happy Birthday" to Mary, a member who was 100 years old.

In his thick Irish accent, Father Phil O'Kennedy offered Mary this advice: "After your next 100 years, stay away from men and whiskey."

DAILY Weekend Editor Steve Stewart compiles and edits You Don't Say. If you have an item of community interest, call Steve at 340-2444, e-mail him at, or write to You Don't Say, THE DECATUR DAILY, P.O. Box 2213, Decatur, AL 35609.

Steve Stewart Steve Stewart
DAILY Weekend Editor

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