News from the Tennessee Valley Columnists
SUNDAY, JUNE 5, 2005

Steve Stewart

People help themselves, needy or not

Hillsboro farmer Hillman Locklayer said time has changed the meaning of "community farm."

In the past, farmers would plant staples such as corn and allow the less fortunate to pick what they needed, free.

Apparently the word spread over the years to people in other communities and other counties.

They, and sometimes people in the immediate community, take advantage by driving up in carloads, picking all the crops they can carry, and then driving off.

"People even drive up in pickup trucks and fill the beds and drive off to sell it somewhere else," Hillman said, as quoted by Clyde Stancil.

"I've even heard about people coming from Decatur. There's no way to stop it because farmers don't always live near their fields."

Mars and Venus

Mark Steele of Valdosta, Ga., Scott Morris' college roommate, tells of a conversation he overheard at a highway rest stop in Gainesville, Fla.

A father was talking with a boy, probably 4 or 5 years old.

Mark didn't hear the boy's question, but said that "the answer gave me more insight than anything I've read lately."

What was the answer, you ask?

"Because boys stand up and girls sit down."

The response from the little boy: "OK."

Mark's comment: "No other clarification was offered, no other was required. That's the title to a self-help book if I've ever heard one."

When 'Delete' doesn't do it

Eric Fleischauer says you should be careful what computer advice you seek on Internet message boards.

A man posted a question: His wife's Palm Pilot no longer worked. He was going to throw it away, but wanted suggestions on ways to make sure no one who found it could access the data it contained.

Hundreds of selfless computer experts answered with enthusiasm. The first response suggested putting it under the tire and driving forward until it emitted a crunching sound. The next said after
driving over it, he should throw it off a high bridge and into the river.

Those methods not being foolproof, another suggested putting it in a microwave oven, on high power, and baking it for one hour. Other solutions involved sledgehammers, axes, shotguns, flamethrowers and skyscrapers.

Bad guys, fast wheels

Former Ardmore Police Chief Elifus Sanders said although radar clocked his 1963 patrol car at 140 mph, he didn't catch all the bad guys.

He told Ronnie Thomas that "I missed three or four." He said one fellow got away in a 1931 pickup.

"No telling what kind of engine he had," said Elifus, now 76. "He had pipes coming out the sides and razor-slick tires."

A 1934 Chevrolet also outran him.

"Obviously, he had a big engine, too. I'd never seen either one of them, before or since. They were race-course vehicles."

Send stories for You Don't Say to or call Weekend Editor Steve Stewart at 340-2444.

DAILY Weekend Editor Steve Stewart compiles and edits You Don't Say. If you have an item of community interest, call Steve at 340-2444, e-mail him at, or write to You Don't Say, THE DECATUR DAILY, P.O. Box 2213, Decatur, AL 35609.

Steve Stewart Steve Stewart
DAILY Weekend Editor

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