News from the Tennessee Valley Columnists

Steve Stewart

Neighbor, can you hear me now?

A Decatur woman told police she was convinced that a neighbor was using surveillance equipment to eavesdrop on her telephone conversations.

Testing the theory with a call to a friend, the woman said her neighbor's vehicle and trash can both needed to be moved out of the street.

Police told Chris Paschenko that the woman's neighbor then immediately exited the house and moved the items.

Police wondered if it was criminal eavesdropping or just a coincidence.

Honey-do list

For 16 years, Ellen Stanford has been the nutrition coordinator for Limestone County's Council on Aging.

She said goodbye at a County Commission meeting, according to Holly Hollman. The commission gave her a certificate of appreciation.

Ellen thanked commissioners for the money they appropriate. Commission Chairman David Seibert thanked her for her time and for "doing a good job for our citizens."

When someone remarked that her husband, Doug, would now have jobs for her and plans for her time, Ellen retorted, "He may think he does."

Suspicious package

A package with no return address arrived in the mail at a Decatur fast-food restaurant, and a manager deemed it suspicious.

The manager found plastic razors and a note inside, reading "Use on face and neck," and called police.

Police told Chris the plastic-handled razors were still in their original package, and officers didn't know why they were sent to Burger King.

Maybe it was just a customer's way of saying he'd like the employees shaven his way.

Two-city test drive

A Huntsville man, on a long-distance test drive, ran into a mishap after leaving a Huntsville Mercedes dealership.

While he was approaching the U.S. 31 and Alabama 20 intersection in Decatur, four rowdy juveniles cut him off, passed him and threw something from their car.

Decatur police told Chris the object struck the Mercedes, denting the hood and scratching the mirror.

With today's gas prices, mileage added to the brand-spanking new Mercedes, and repair costs, it must have been one pricey test drive.

Somebody's counting

Curiosity is great but, in a classroom of third-graders, it can be deafening.

Eric Fleischauer reports that a teacher at Gordon-Bibb Elementary School, unable to answer one question because a dozen others were on the way, finally hollered, "I can't get two words in!"

Without a pause, one student said, "You just got in six."

Dots and squiggles

For those who missed it, Jay Wilson points out that Aug. 22 was National Punctuation Day.

Jeff Rubin, Punctuation Day creator, passed along the advice that "an ellipsis is not when the moon moves in front of the sun" and "a comma is not a state of being."

Be prepared next year. Log on to

Send stories for You Don't Say to or call Weekend Editor Steve Stewart at 340-2444. Or write P.O. Box 2213, Decatur, AL 35609. DAILY staff members contribute many of the items you see here.

Steve Stewart Steve Stewart
DAILY Weekend Editor

Leave feedback
on this or

Email This Page