News from the Tennessee Valley Columnists
SUNDAY, OCTOBER 23, 2005
STEVE STEWART | COLUMNISTS | HOME | FORUMS | ARCHIVES

YOU DON'T SAY
Steve Stewart

Live off the land? No, just call for pizza

Decatur resident Dwayne Garrett completed his hike of the more than 2,000-mile Appalachian Trail this month.

Dwayne (featured elsewhere in today's DAILY) laughed about his "high-tech hike" through the wilderness. He told Jay Wilson how he, shall we say, foraged for food.

Dwayne's wife, Kaye, insisted that he take a cell phone for safety and to phone her. But the outdoorsman found another use for the phone, discovering that shelters provided contact numbers for businesses in towns below.

"Yeah, I got to order a lot of pizza," Dwayne said.

Old clothes, new costume

A Decatur man reminisced about how men used to dress up more. Patrice Stewart heard him remark that now men wear T-shirts where suits once were required.

"I don't even own a suit now," he said, "unless you count that seersucker from the '70s that I'm saving for Halloween!"

Work stoppage

A stay-at-home mom in Frankfort, Ind., went on strike — giving up her daily chores until her family provided more help around the house.

Regina Stevenson, 41, sat in a lawn chair on the sidewalk outside her home with a sign saying "Mom on Strike."

The Associated Press reported that her household includes three children, her husband, a daughter-in-law and a grandson.

"I do everything except bring home the paycheck," she said. But she refused to clean, cook or do other chores until they learned to clean and to appreciate her.

Football profits

Jason Bartlett of Cullman, who began hustling college football tickets after he lost his regular job, is always thinking a few steps ahead, sometimes even so that others might profit.

He told Ronnie Thomas that a Trussville woman who came to him for tickets to the Alabama-Tennessee game brought along a photo of her daughter with Crimson Tide quarterback Brodie Croyle.

"She told me they used to date and that Brodie had been to her home many times," Jason said.

"I told her, 'Well, if you know him that well, you should have bought a bunch of those Sports Illustrated magazines after the Florida game with Brodie on the cover, got him back over to the house and had him autograph them. Think of what you could have made. The magazine cost what, $4? You could have sold them for $75.' "

Trick or treat for relief

A children's group plans to trick or treat for UNICEF, an organization that helps children in developing countries.

But Melanie Smith read that the group from Westminster Presbyterian Church is planning to share half of the money donated this year with families suffering from Hurricane Katrina. Maybe the efforts in the church during Sunday school on Oct. 30 will help those facing real fears this Halloween.

Send stories for You Don't Say to steve@decaturdaily.com or call Weekend Editor Steve Stewart at 340-2444. Or write P.O. Box 2213, Decatur, AL 35609. DAILY staff members contribute many of the items you see here.

Steve Stewart Steve Stewart
DAILY Weekend Editor

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