News from the Tennessee Valley Columnists

Steve Stewart

High-altitude feats rattle heart patients

The heart doctor's lobby on the eighth floor at St. Thomas Hospital in Nashville was quiet as patients and family members read magazines and newspapers.

Then legs appeared outside a window. They dangled from a swing attached to a rope. Soapy water flowed in rivulets down the window.

Everyone stared in awe as the swing descended and the entire man appeared with his squeegee and bucket of water, Holly Hollman says.

One man's back was to the window. When the window washer steadied himself using a suction cup that went thump by the unsuspecting man's head, the man jumped and whirled around.

"I thought this place was supposed to keep you from having a heart attack, not give you one," he muttered.

Faith and brew

Arthur Smith of Gulfport, Miss., has a quiet faith that leaves him unflappable, reports Eric Fleischauer.

Arthur said things like hurricanes have not bothered him much since he found Christ in 1984.

"That's when I left my worries, my evil ways and my beer," he said. Then, after a moment of introspection: "... Although I have noticed that the beer has a way of following me."

The meeting monitor

An Athens veterinarian became a comedian during a communitywide meeting on litter, noise and animal control.

Members of the Limestone County Commission, Athens City Council and law enforcement answered questions about ordinances, Holly Hollman reports.

Recycling Coordinator Vicki Toney asked veterinarian Robert Pitman if he wanted to address the audience. Robert houses stray animals for the county.

"I didn't really come here to say anything," he said from the back of the room. "I just wanted to make sure this was an authorized meeting."

The audience laughed, remembering newspaper articles questioning the legality of Athens officials meeting about growth without notifying the public.

Catch that turkey

Most likely, your Thanksgiving turkey was the Butterball kind, bought frozen at the store.

But turkey hunters sing the praises of the wild turkey over its domesticated cousin. They say the game bird is lean and wily and can run as fast as 25 mph.

The Associated Press quotes Don Lantz of Bend, Ore., the state treasurer for the National Wild Turkey Federation.

"A turkey can see like an eagle, hear like a deer and run like a dog through the woods," he said, almost in reverence.

Benjamin Franklin recommended the wild turkey as a national symbol instead of the bald eagle.

Send stories for You Don't Say to or call Weekend Editor Steve Stewart at 340-2444. Or write P.O. Box 2213, Decatur, AL 35609. DAILY staff members contribute many of the items you see here.

Steve Stewart Steve Stewart
DAILY Weekend Editor

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