News from the Tennessee Valley Columnists

Steve Stewart

Cell phone bill hems in its sponsor

A first-term state representative from Springville is serious about reducing injuries from auto accidents, says M.J. Ellington.

Rep. Jim McClendon introduced a bill to prohibit young drivers from using cell phones.

The bill is starting to catch the attention of reporters across the country.

The Republican lawmaker said one reporter tracked him down on his cell phone while he was driving in Missouri.

"The phone rang, and I answered it," Jim said.

When the reporter began asking about the cell-phone bill, Jim said he'd have to call back.

He said he could see the headlines: "Sponsor of bill to keep teens from using cell phones while driving dies in car crash while talking on cell phone."

Help's on the way

Nothing is sacred to the Capitol Steps, musical satirists who have become January regulars at Decatur's Princess Theatre Center for the Performing Arts.

They make fun of everything from George W. Bush's intelligence to Bill Clinton's fidelity to Pat Robertson's spiritual insights.

Friday's show started when an announcer noted the locations of the fire exits and advised:

"In the event of an emergency, please remain seated and wait for FEMA to arrive."

Crash landing

A heavy section of wall glass fell at a Decatur gym, startling patrons with a resounding crash.

Although one couple was within inches of the mishap, luckily no one was injured, Chris Paschenko says.

Because no one technically knocked down the glass, gym members reckoned the person who installed it should be stricken with seven years' bad luck.

Your taxes at work

If the Internal Revenue Service fusses about some mistake you make on your tax return, mention Brian and Jackie Lawson of Chimacum, Wash.

The Lawsons asked the IRS for a 2003 form to fix an error on their returns.

The IRS responded by sending 24,000 copies of a 2005 instruction booklet, wrongly addressed to Chimacum, D.C., but delivered anyway.

The IRS wouldn't return Brian's calls.

Vanity plate

While driving on U.S. 31 in Limestone County, Holly Hollman spotted a personalized license plate that was appropriate for the vehicle it was adorning.

The tag was on a Volkswagen Beetle. The tag said:


Send stories for You Don't Say to or call Weekend Editor Steve Stewart at 340-2444. Or write P.O. Box 2213, Decatur, AL 35609. DAILY staff members contribute many of the items you see here.

Steve Stewart Steve Stewart
DAILY Weekend Editor

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