News from the Tennessee Valley Columnists

Steve Stewart

Experienced pedaler for tourist cabs

The Decatur City Council OK'd Judith Tardy to operate a pedicab shuttle service in the Old Decatur and Albany historic districts and even suggested its first employee.

The four-wheeled human- and electric-powered vehicles will carry riverboat passengers and other tourists while the operator provides historical commentary, Judith told the council.

By coincidence, the council at the same meeting named the city's bike trail after Dr. Bill Sims, an avid biker and the driving force behind the project.

"We'll consider this if you give Dr. Sims a job," Councilman Gary Hammon quipped before the council approved the pedicab permit.

Alphabetical waiting

During a recent session of Decatur Municipal Court, Judge Bill Cook apologized upfront for the large caseload.

If you're caught breaking the law and have to go to court, Chris Paschenko says, you can save an hour or two if your last name begins with a letter near the top of the alphabet.

"I've tried going Z through A," the judge said. "I can count backward, but I can make some mistakes when I try to spell backward."

Cake's secret ingredient

A new cake vendor at Montgomery's downtown farmers' market offered samples of the pound cake she made from her grandmother's closely guarded recipe.

"I just knew she had a secret ingredient," the granddaughter told M.J. Ellington.

After years of holding out, the grandmother relented and wrote down the recipe, and the granddaughter eagerly scanned it.

A pound of real butter here, a half dozen eggs there — the recipe went on with familiar ingredients. And then she noticed the last item of instruction in her grandmother's aging handwriting and began to laugh.

"Pray," it said.

Science 101

Children often describe their environment in the simplest terms.

Holly Hollman said that during a Limestone County Board of Education meeting, Owens Elementary School pupil Will Britton told about his trip to Dauphin Island.

The salt marshes, Will said, smelled like rotten eggs.

And the marshes felt muddy and gooey.

Asking for trouble

Be polite to your servers, or at least ditch any stolen merchandise before being rude.

Seth Burkett reports this dumb-crook story:

An intoxicated customer caused trouble for Decatur Wal-Mart employees, so they called police. The man had two outstanding warrants for unpaid fines, so officers arrested him.

When they searched his jacket, they found a $28 Waltham watch still in the display stand with the price tag attached. They charged him with third-degree theft.

Send stories for You Don't Say to or call Weekend Editor Steve Stewart at 340-2444. Or write P.O. Box 2213, Decatur, AL 35609. DAILY staff members contribute many of the items you see here.

Steve Stewart Steve Stewart
DAILY Weekend Editor

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