News from the Tennessee Valley Columnists

Steve Stewart

More than one way to fry an egg

This comes from the father of 10-year-old Sarah, who wants both of them to remain anonymous:

Sarah was honing her cooking skills by trying to fry eggs. Her dad helped with suggestions, but tried to avoid hands-on assistance. That changed when it came time to drop the egg into the grease.

"I'm not doing that," she said in a low squeal. "I don't want to get burned."

How, her father asked, will you become a cook if you are scared to fry eggs?

"I won't be a cook," Sarah said, backing up.

"OK, so how are you going to eat if you can't cook?"

The way-too-quick response: "I'll marry a husband who cooks."

81 lives

Decatur City Councilman Ronny Russell told Chris Paschenko that he had only one cat before becoming the liaison to the city's animal shelter.

Now he has nine, he said, and lovingly refers to the clan as the Russell Zoo.

Where's Appalachia?

Author Rudy Abramson, a Florence native, told Ronnie Thomas that when he was working on the "Encyclopedia of Appalachia," he phoned actor George Lindsey in Nashville to discuss the book with him.

George, 71, of Jasper graduated from the University of North Alabama in Florence and starred as "Goober" on the "Andy Griffith Show." He asked, "Why are you calling me about Appalachia?"

Rudy said he told George that Appalachia includes 13 states "and is also down in Alabama. Lindsey said, 'Oh, I thought it was up in West Virginia.' I told him that it was up there, too. We had a nice talk after that. I did an entry on George for the book."

An honest politician

A state business association executive tells about his early introduction to elective politics.

At 21, Business Council of Alabama President Bill Canary ran for local office in another state and won, M.J. Ellington says. A reporter stuck a microphone into the excited young man's face just after the victory.

"Are you surprised you won?" the reporter asked.

"You betcha. I didn't even think I'd come in third," answered the now middle-aged man whose friends still call him Billy.

Don't try this in a bar

They must not have water coolers at the liquor stores in and around Fayetteville, N.C.

How else could the Cumberland County Alcoholic Beverage Control system hope to enforce an order that tells all 64 employees they can't gossip and threatens to fire anyone who spreads rumors on the job?

"It's really a problem with one or two employees," explained Gene Webb, general manager. He thinks the rule will boost morale and productivity in the long run, according to The Associated Press.

ABC board member Lula Crenshaw is more cynical. "People are going to talk," she said.

Send stories for You Don't Say to or call Weekend Editor Steve Stewart at 340-2444. Or write P.O. Box 2213, Decatur, AL 35609. DAILY staff members contribute many of the items you see here.

Steve Stewart Steve Stewart
DAILY Weekend Editor

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