News from the Tennessee Valley Columnists
SUNDAY, APRIL 23, 2006

Steve Stewart

Senators may filibuster this tall dog tale

On the last day of a legislative session in Montgomery, lawmakers' comments often turn to the flippant or funny, says M.J. Ellington.

Such was the case Monday when outgoing Rep. Dick Brewbaker, R-Montgomery, said his official farewells to House members. The House is great, said Dick, who is not running for re-election. He compared it with the Senate upstairs.

"I had a bird dog one time named Representative," the Montgomery car dealer said. "Somebody renamed him and called him Senate. He wasn't worth a darn after that."

Lawmen legally armed

Not even the powerful Lawrence County school board is above its own rules, which is why members decided to change one of their policies rather than discipline themselves.

An administrator discovered that board policy prohibited anyone from carrying deadly weapons at schools or school-related events, Clyde Stancil says. There was no exception for law enforcement officers, who patrol the hallways with loaded pistols and Mace. After considering the policy for a month, the board voted for a change to exempt lawmen.

Show me the money!

During a Decatur City Council meeting, council President Billy Jackson asked for a vote to approve paying the city's March 2006 bills.

Councilman Ray Metzger, known to be frugal with the city's money, made a motion, Chris Paschenko said. "If we have the money?" he quipped as a smile broke on his face.

The motion unanimously passes each month, but this time with a bit of humor.

A likely suspect

It wasn't anything that DAILY reporter Holly Hollman wrote that nearly caused Limestone County Sheriff Mike Blakely to tackle her in the middle of a dark street.

It was a case of mistaken identity.

Mike had called Holly about a marijuana bust that authorities were doing in the Thach community. When Holly arrived, unbeknownst to her, the sheriff was waiting for the marijuana grower's girlfriend to show up.

When Holly got out of the car, Mike ran toward her shining a flashlight. Holly identified herself before the sheriff could wrestle her to the ground.

Border stowaway

People in Eldridge, N.D., have a favorite illegal immigrant.

A cat hopped aboard a semitrailer hauling fertilizer from Saskatchewan and crossed the border in plain sight of Customs agents. They alerted the driver, but nobody could catch the cat, according to The Associated Press.

The female feline eventually found a friend in bookkeeper Jessica Hansen. She turned her over to the humane society, which is looking for a good home.

"I don't want to see her deported now that they've tightened the immigration laws," society spokeswoman Deb Archambeau joked. "She's sweet and friendly and deserves a good home."

The cat's new name? Canada.

Send stories for You Don't Say to or call Weekend Editor Steve Stewart at 340-2444.

Steve Stewart Steve Stewart
DAILY Weekend Editor

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