News from the Tennessee Valley Columnists
WEDNESDAY, MAY 31, 2006
STEVE STEWART | COLUMNISTS | HOME | FORUMS | ARCHIVES

YOU DON'T SAY
Steve Stewart

Creative mom extends school year

Kate Klepper got many creative ideas when she asked local moms about fun things for children to do once they're out of school.

One enthusiastic mother recommended vacation Bible school for elementary-school-age children.

"They have fun while they learn," she said. "Plus, if you plan it just right you can get them in every VBS in the city."

Richter scale

Eric Fleischauer reports his son, John, had a blank stare when they met for lunch Thursday.

The problem? School had ended for the summer at noon.

"Dad, you should have heard the kids stampeding out of there," John said of his fellow middle-schoolers. "I bet it set off the seismographs in Japan!"

Better aim, deadlier weapon

A man filed a report with Decatur police after he teed off at Cedar Ridge Golf Course and his ball accidentally struck the roof of a house.

The homeowner walked out with a rifle in hand and warned the golfer that he was a better shot, Seth Burkett says.

Generation gap

Amy Pollick tells about a woman who called THE DAILY, wanting to know how to get a sample ballot from our Web site.

Amy began explaining, but the woman interrupted: "I'm going to have to let you talk to my granddaughter and let her do it. It doesn't make any sense to me."

Amy waited for an adult or teen to answer, but a tiny voice said, "Hello?"

The granddaughter was 8 years old and had no trouble finding the ballot or printing it.

Fish out of water

While driving to church one Sunday morning, a Hartselle woman happened upon a fish flopping in the road.

With no creek or pond in sight, Patricia Moody told Chris Paschenko she wondered if an eagle dropped the footlong bottom feeder on the center line or if some fisherman lost part of the day's catch.

"No one was around," Patricia said. "It was a good-size catfish. I thought, 'I know it's rained a lot, but this is ridiculous.' "

Multitalented feline

Fred the cat may or may not have the proverbial nine lives, but he's on his way toward nine occupations.

Fred, whose owner is New York prosecutor Carol Moran, went undercover in a sting operation. Fred posed as a patient and helped nab a man pretending to be a veterinarian, according to The Associated Press.

Now Fred has been certified as calm and gentle enough to go into schools, where he will help show children the importance of animal care.

Send stories for You Don't Say to steve@decaturdaily.com, or call Weekend Editor Steve Stewart at 340-2444. Or write P.O. Box 2213, Decatur, AL 35609. DAILY staff members contribute many of the items you see here. This column appears Sundays and Wednesdays.

Steve Stewart Steve Stewart
DAILY Weekend Editor

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