News from the Tennessee Valley Columnists
WEDNESDAY, JUNE 14, 2006
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YOU DON'T SAY
Steve Stewart

Dog's name can get you into trouble

Paul Swanson of Miami has to be careful when he calls his dog.

The dog's name? Honey.

Paul told Scott Morris that he let the dog out one morning. About the same time, a young woman jogged toward his house.

First, Paul whistled for Honey to come back inside. The dog ignored him, as did the woman. Then Paul yelled. "Honey, come here!"

He said the young woman, who never saw the dog, wheeled around and glared at him for an instant as if to say, "Not in your wildest dreams." She didn't jog past his house again for a long time.

Don't go there

The state's two-year college chancellor, Roy Johnson, talked to members of the state Board of Education about detailed plans for college involvement in hurricane evacuation.

After the session, M.J. Ellington reports, Roy said he had a much simpler solution that would not involve the colleges at all.

"I hope they just go away," he quipped, about the powerful storms.

Cut that out!

A frustrated federal judge, tired of the bickering between lawyers in a case, made his view clear in a recent decision, Eric Fleischauer reports.

The judge ordered the lawyers to meet at the courthouse steps with a witness present. "At that time and location, counsel shall engage in one (1) game of 'rock, paper, scissors.' "

Presbyterians seeing sights

Some 4,000 Presbyterians who will be in Birmingham for their General Assembly, starting Thursday, will find opportunities to experience Alabama's rich religious life — and try out some not-so-religious activities — Melanie Smith learned.

A canoe trip on the Cahaba River, led by a minister who was once the denomination's moderator, is one option. There is a church tie-in, beyond the obvious one of experiencing God's creation. A presbytery is creating a camp along the Cahaba.

Delegates also will be able to take a side trip to visit Huntsville First Presbyterian Church, founded in 1822. Other options include tours of churches involved in the civil-rights movement, church ministries to the needy in Birmingham, a Selma church started in 1816, and Stillman College in Tuscaloosa, founded by Presbyterians in 1875.

As young as you feel

At age 99, my wife's grandfather renewed his driver license for four years. In his youthful outlook, he had something in common with Cliff Garl, who recently earned his pilot's certificate in Arlington, Wash., at age 91.

Cliff made his first solo flight in a Cessna 172. He's thinking of logging more flying hours to earn a recreational or private pilot's certificate, according to The Associated Press.

"You go to a nursing home, and you'll see people a lot younger than he just sitting there," said his flight instructor, Joe Bennett, 75. Before taking lessons, Cliff had to show the Federal Aviation Administration that he was healthy enough.

Send stories for You Don't Say to steve@decaturdaily.com, or call Weekend Editor Steve Stewart at 340-2444. Or write P.O. Box 2213, Decatur, AL 35609.

Steve Stewart Steve Stewart
DAILY Weekend Editor

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