News from the Tennessee Valley Columnists
WEDNESDAY, JULY 5, 2006
STEVE STEWART | COLUMNISTS | HOME | FORUMS | ARCHIVES

YOU DON'T SAY
Steve Stewart

Put some clothes on that babe

Decatur doll collector Paula Van Natta took an out-of-town class in doll-making a few years ago.

She told Patrice Stewart that her life-size creation had a delicate porcelain head and bust, so she buckled the unclothed figure into the passenger seat.

"Truckers kept honking at me, but I didn't know why. Then I realized they thought it was a naked babe headed down the road," she said.

She later bought "Lady Grace" an antique gown, hat and purse, as well as holiday and winter outfits, so she can greet guests decently from her corner of the living room.

Don't look, Al

A feature story in Thursday's DAILY about LPGA golfer and swimsuit calendar model Natalie Gulbis caught the eye of several Spirit of America golfers and staff members at Burningtree Country Club.

The volunteers at the scorers' tent were talking about the blond beauty, Michael Wetzel says.

When Sue Bowers was asked if she saw the article, she said, "Yes, and I am glad I did. I hid it before my husband (Al) got to see it."

Mars and Venus

Four-year-old Jacob Randall was spending the day at his grandfather's farm and was paying particular attention to the cows.

"Papa," he said, "I know the difference between the boy cows and the girl cows. The boy cows have more tummy hair."

"Papa" is Mike Walker of Trinity.

White House greetings

The Rev. Carol Hallman of Decatur's First Christian Church, who was recently ordained, reported getting many cards congratulating her. One came from President and Mrs. Bush.

Melanie Smith says Carol wrote in her church newsletter that she'd sent the Bushes an invitation to the ceremony.

"I knew they would not attend, but I felt I would hear from them," she said.

The Bushes did not disappoint.

Required by law?

Oblivious to the idea of separating church and state, a school-board member somewhere in Alabama once opined that a meeting was not official unless it opened with a prayer.

Jimmy Brothers, director of Decatur's Building Department, commented during a City Council work session about another requirement that isn't written anywhere.

"I didn't know we could have a meeting without the lawyers here," Jimmy said, as reported by Chris Paschenko.

Jaws alive

Newspaper delivery people don't let much deter them, but an alligator interrupted Bobby Kish's deliveries in Pottsdown, Pa.

Bobby, 46, got out of his truck to retrieve an errant newspaper at 5 a.m., walked between two parked cars and saw a 4-foot gator, according to The Associated Press.

"He kind of lunged at me and hissed," said Bobby. "His mouth was open; I was about five feet away."

Bobby jumped back into the truck and drove to the police station. Cpl. Jamie O'Neill grabbed the alligator from behind and secured its jaws with duct tape. Police booked it as "Al E. Gator" and called an animal handler.

Send stories for You Don't Say to steve@decaturdaily.com, or call Weekend Editor Steve Stewart at 340-2444. Or write P.O. Box 2213, Decatur, AL 35609.

Steve Stewart Steve Stewart
DAILY Weekend Editor

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