News from the Tennessee Valley Columnists
SUNDAY, JULY 23, 2006

Steve Stewart

Donít ask just any engineer

For those of us who once thought an engineer is a guy who drives a train, a Decatur City Council discussion serves as a reminder that there are many kinds of engineers.

As Chris Paschenko tells it, Mayor Don Kyle called on Councilman Ronny Russell's engineering expertise, asking whether the ground at Point Mallard is suitable for tennis courts.

Ronnie threw his hands into the air and said his background is in electrical engineering, and that as far as he knows, "the lights work out there."

Truth in advertising

The Chevron convenience store near Elk River in Limestone County has a steady stream of customers who love fishing.

Holly Hollman says the store's sign has this to say about its bait:

"Our worms are guaranteed to catch fish or die trying."

Voice from a man of action

Jane Davis — who teams up with her husband, John, to write book reviews just about every Sunday in THE DAILY — told Ronnie Thomas that she got an appreciation of the sacrifices of America's fighting forces from her father. (He also encouraged her to read at an early age.)

During World War II — on D-Day, June 6, 1944 — Duane Tedrick rode a glider into Holland with the 101st Airborne Division, 502nd Parachute Infantry Regiment.

Later, he made an audiotape describing Normandy battlefield sites. When the Davises lived in Holland, John took vacations and drove international schoolchildren and their parents on tours of Normandy, using Duane's voice as a guide.

Duane died during the summer of 1996.

Animals in the air

A bejeweled young woman created a bottleneck in Toronto airport/border security with her two equally bejeweled, curly small dogs. The metal detectors sensed potential terrorist weapons headed for the United States.

Despite the hassle, she was smart to take her pets as carry-on baggage. Just ask Vincent the black-and-white cat, who traveled separately from his owner and wound up among the lost luggage.

One of my wife's bags got lost. A courier brought it to Decatur two days late from the Nashville airport. He was also carrying Vincent to his owner in the Huntsville area. Vincent was caged, calm and healthy, apparently none the worse for his odyssey.

Bad time for a nap

A burglar broke into a grocery in northern Thailand in the middle of the night. He stole a few beers, then heard the owner stirring. So the burglar hid under a bed, according to The Associated Press.

The owner was sleeping on the same bed. Waiting for his chance to get away, the robber drank a few of the stolen beers. He passed out and started snoring so loudly that he woke up the owner, who discreetly called police.

Send stories for You Don't Say to, or call Weekend Editor Steve Stewart at 340-2444. Or write P.O. Box 2213, Decatur, AL 35609. DAILY staff members contribute many of the items you see here. This column appears Sundays and Wednesdays.

Steve Stewart Steve Stewart
DAILY Weekend Editor

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