News from the Tennessee Valley Columnists

Steve Stewart

An unbiased list of words you canít say

Morgan County Learning Center Principal Layne Dillard told Bayne Hughes that her 4-year-old, Addie Dillard, sometimes thinks being the older sister makes her the boss of her younger brother.

Addie told 3-year-old Brooks that he was using too many "bad words."

With one hand on hip and a stern look, Addie pointed at Brooks and said, "You can't say poopie, you can't say dang and you can't say stupid, War Eagle or Auburn."

No other choice

Aggressive efforts by volunteers to attract incoming Redstone Arsenal employees to Decatur caused mocking criticism at a recent Decatur-Morgan County Chamber of Commerce board meeting.

Terry Roche, chairman, glared at Lynn Fowler, former Decatur mayor and chairman of the Morgan County Economic Development Association board, Eric Fleischauer reports.

"I heard there were several complaints about your not letting people see other cities' booths," Terry said, referring to an event in Virginia.

"What? Were there other booths?" Lynn asked innocently.

Proper education

Do Citadel graduates make the best mayors?

Bayne Hughes reports that former Decatur Mayor Julian Price thinks so.

Julian wanted fellow Citadel graduate and Redstone Arsenal commander Col. John Olshefski to confirm his theory at a Rotary Club of Decatur meeting. Jim Page of the Decatur-Morgan County Chamber of Commerce had introduced the colonel as the unofficial "mayor of Redstone Arsenal."

Current Decatur Mayor Don Kyle, a University of Alabama graduate, said he wanted an answer, too, because he doubts Julian's theory. Although he's military, Redstone's mayor ably avoided the question, as any good politician would.

Romantic or happy?

While in Cabo San Lucas, Mexico, Kate Klepper and Carl Cole of Decatur ate at an authentic Mexican restaurant.

The house mariachi band combed the outdoor dining area, serenading each table. When they approached the Decatur couple, the bandleader asked if they preferred a romantic song or a happy one.

Kate cast her vote for romantic, but Carl asked, "Isn't there something that's both?"

Dig it, shape it

For anyone totally fascinated with the recent sand sculpture event at Point Mallard Park, here's a product guaranteed(?) to make you a pro.

A pitch for the Can You Dig It Super Deluxe Sand Sculpting Kit arrived not long after a feature on the event appeared in THE DAILY, Martin Burkey says.

The tools, it said, "were selected by none other than The Parents' Choice Foundation as one of the Best 25 Toys to appear in the last 25 years!"

In addition to various shaping tools, the set includes a "manually powered pneumatic sand blaster," otherwise known as a straw.

Send stories for You Don't Say to, or call Weekend Editor Steve Stewart at 340-2444. Or write P.O. Box 2213, Decatur, AL 35609. DAILY staff members contribute many of the items you see here. This column appears Sundays and Wednesdays.

Steve Stewart Steve Stewart
DAILY Weekend Editor

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