News from the Tennessee Valley Columnists

Steve Stewart

Mail it to second hut on the right

With plans to send a goodwill package to Mozambique, Scott Morris asked for his friend John Wickes' address there.

When John replied with an address so short and simple that it seemed impossible, Scott checked again to make sure no street numbers or ZIP codes were missing.

"Is that all?" Scott asked.

"Is that all?!" John responded. "You ought to see my physical address. It is 'Behind TCT on street number 6.' I live in Africa, dude!"

Dog wasn't chicken

Riding down West Moulton Street, John Templeton's black Lab, Jessie, got so excited when they drove past Church's Chicken that she jumped out of his pickup.

John, of Decatur, said the restaurant's owner, Murphy Brown, and staff went out of their way to help him find her.

"They called me whenever they spotted her. Finally, after their sixth or seventh call we caught her."

Kate Klepper says that to celebrate Jessie's return home, John treated her to Church's 20-piece, chicken-tender dinner.

Good first show for horse

The Coach, a horse owned by Sherry Holland of Decatur and Mary Dell Kilgore of Tuscaloosa, won the Two-Year-Old Stallions class in Wednesday's 68th annual Tennessee Walking Horse Breeders' and Exhibitors' Association Futurity show in Shelbyville, Tenn.

"It is a lot of fun to ride a horse in the show ring for the first time," trainer Joe Cotten said, as quoted by the Shelbyville Times-Gazette. "... We got in the warm-up ring and he was real feisty out there. But he settled down in the ring and made a good show."

Say it our way

You can't know how to pronounce a place name unless you consult the locals.

Photographer John Godbey noted this recently when a long-distance call came requesting a picture from Caddo Cafeteria.

The caller pronounced it "ku-doo." Locals would say "ca-doe."

Similarly, if you used your good Spanish to pronounce Buena Vista in Monroe County as "bwayna veesta," you'd be wrong.

It's "byoona vista."

More than one way

Benjamin Steibach, 85, lost his driver's license in Milwaukee, but he won't give up.

The state took away his license for health reasons, so he started driving a lawn mower on sidewalks to the supermarket, hardware store and City Hall, according to The Associated Press.

But Police Chief Tom Frank informed him that state law allows only motorized scooters, wheelchairs and Segways on sidewalks.

An anonymous woman heard about Benjamin's plight and gave him a motorized scooter.

The chief said he can drive it on the sidewalk, and "I'm happy for him."

Send stories for You Don't Say to, or call Weekend Editor Steve Stewart at 340-2444. Or write P.O. Box 2213, Decatur, AL 35609. DAILY staff members contribute many of the items you see here. This column appears Sundays and Wednesdays.

Steve Stewart Steve Stewart
DAILY Weekend Editor

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