News from the Tennessee Valley Columnists

Steve Stewart

Decorating for holiday with humor

Mike and Becky Gleason may not put the most effort into exterior Christmas decorations at their 1006 Sherman St. S.E. home, but they have garnered a couple of major awards, Seth Burkett reports.

A sign in their front yard this season proclaimed that their decorating scheme had come in “Last Place Again” in Albany. Not an actual award from the neighborhood contest, the sign was a humorous gift from friends.

As seen in the movies

The Gleasons’ front steps also boasted a lamp that looks like a woman’s leg, which Mike’s brother-in-law made based on the one from the movie “A Christmas Story.”

Just as it did for The Old Man in the movie, the leg lamp holds a special place in Mike’s heart.

Maggie Gleason said she and her sister, Anna, were charged with making sure the lamp didn’t fall into the hands of thieves or pranksters.

“Dad’s very cautious of it,” Maggie said. “He brings it in every night, and every five minutes, Dad says, ‘Go to the window and make sure nobody’s stolen it!’ ”

Cosmic significance

Decatur residents had every reason to be happy at the successful launch of United Launch Alliance’s maiden flight, recently placing a spy satellite into orbit.

They might not have understood the cosmic significance, though. Satteliteology, one of the oddest members of the aerospace industry, was happy to explain that significance to those born under the astrological sign of Gemini, reports Eric Fleischauer.

“NROL-21 was launched into your sign this week,” the group said. “Because it was the first success of the new United Launch Alliance, it will bring you good fortune in your new endeavors.”

How’s that again?

At The University of Alabama, a sign on the Quad this month was promoting the “student scholoarship campaign.”

Maybe you can get a frank comment on this situation from the “candid yams” at City Cafe in nearby downtown Northport.

Fortunately, the quality of service at both establishments is much better than the occasional spelling lapse would imply.

Drink to this

Eager to combat drunken driving during the holidays, police in Bennington, Vt., have given bars and restaurants about 160 pint glasses embossed with the logo of the Police Department.

The police want drinkers to think twice about getting behind the wheel if they’ve had too many, according to The Associated Press.

Each glass has one of four designs: a police patch, a special response team patch, a K-9 logo or a Bennington Police Department 150th anniversary badge logo.

“One of the ways we let people know we’re out there is through increased visibility,” said Lt. Paul Doucette, who came up with the idea.

Send stories for You Don’t Say to, or call Weekend Editor Steve Stewart at 340-2444. Or write P.O. Box 2213, Decatur, AL 35609. Daily staff members contribute many of the items you see here. This column appears Sundays and Wednesdays.

Steve Stewart Steve Stewart
DAILY Weekend Editor

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