News from the Tennessee Valley Columnists

Steve Stewart

Nemo helps pupils learn about science

When West Decatur Elementary School kindergarten pupils were visiting Wetlands Edge Environmental Center, teacher Susan Estes showed them a stingray.

Asked what the water creature was, a girl had a ready answer: “That’s Nemo’s tutor!”

John Godbey, who reported this event, says the girl apparently had seen the animated movie “Finding Nemo,” in which Nemo, a boy clownfish, goes to school with Mr. Ray, a stingray.

Who needs TV crime?

During a break in a painfully graphic trial regarding sexual activities at Wheeler National Wildlife Refuge, covered by Eric Fleischauer, two jurors cringed at each other.

Muttered one: “I guess I don’t need to watch ‘Law and Order’ tonight.”

Ripe for roasts

During a recent fundraiser, Athens Mayor Dan Williams took the opportunity not only to roast former state Rep. Tommy Carter, but also to jab potential targets of roasts.

“There’s Decatur Daily reporter Holly Hollman, who believes life was much easier when clothes didn’t match and boys had cooties, and she’s never had a roast,” Dan said.

“There’s Gov. Bob Riley, who said, ‘I don’t want yes men around me. I want men to tell me the truth, even if they lose their job.’

“And there’s Philip Rivers, former Athens quarterback who plays with the San Diego Chargers. He once said, ‘You really know what game pressure is when you see the cheerleaders are jumping, and you don’t notice any jiggling,’ and he’s never had a roast.”

A holy Bama

Jean McCraney of Decatur says that in Wednesday’s column I overlooked two mentions of University of Alabama sports in religious writings.

First, there’s the hymn “Jesus Saves,” which urges us to “waft it on the rolling tide …”

And then there’s Esau’s genealogy in Genesis 36:1-14, which includes several mentions of Aholibamah, one of his three Canaanite wives.

Has anybody out there found any Auburn references?

Flowers by royalty

When reporter Danielle Komis called Simpson’s Florist to find out the proper title for Kristen Bentley, the person on the other end of the line checked with Kristen.

She came back and said, “Well, she said she prefers ‘princess’ but ‘head floral designer’ will do.”

Dress for success

Here’s a fashion tip for aspiring robbers: Buckle up tight.

We’re not speaking of seat belts here. Police in Covington, La., caught a 16-year-old robbery suspect after his low-riding pants fell down and he stumbled to his knees, according to The Associated Press.

“We literally caught him with his pants down,” Lt. Jack West said.

Send stories for You Don’t Say to steve@decaturdaily .com, or call Weekend Editor Steve Stewart at 340-2444. Or write P.O. Box 2213, Decatur, AL 35609. Daily staff members contribute many of the items you see here. This column appears Sundays and Wednesdays.

Steve Stewart Steve Stewart
DAILY Weekend Editor

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