News from the Tennessee Valley Columnists

Steve Stewart

Esther story with a twist of country

Recalling the story of Esther is part of the celebration of the Jewish festival Purim in March, Melanie Smith learned.

Temple B’nai Sholom in Huntsville will tell a lighthearted version, “The Megillah Goes to Nashville,” with the characters given a country twist.

Esther is a tambourine-playing beauty pageant winner. The wicked adviser to the king is Johnny Haman Cash (played by Rabbi Jeffrey Ballon.) King Willie Nelson Ahasuerus is “On the Phone Again” trying to drum up a date.

This version carries on a tradition of humor and joy at Purim, scholars say.

Performances are Saturday and Sunday. Call the temple at 536-4771 for tickets.

New season, new cut

Hazlewood High got its first baseball win in more than a year Thursday night, and on Friday, sophomore centerfielder Burt Terry got a haircut — a real short one.

Burt made the pledge before the season’s first pitch was thrown, says Michael Wetzel. Baseball coach Greg Arnold got his team together about noon Friday and sheered Burt’s locks.

“I made a catch that saved the game,” Burt said, sporting his new buzz cut.

Hazlewood defeated Tharptown 11-10 Thursday to open the season.

Fish legend touts Wheeler

Bass-fishing legend Roland Martin has sung plenty of praises for dropping a hook in Decatur, says Paul Huggins.

Barry Maner, a local fishing-tournament consultant, persuaded his friend to occupy the Decatur-Morgan County Convention and Visitors Bureau’s booth at last weekend’s Bassmaster Classic on Lay Lake. Roland planned to spend an hour each day during the three-day championship touting fishing on Wheeler Lake.

All Roland asked in return was compensation for his hotel expenses ($89 per night), which the bureau was happy to provide.

A pancake pro

Veterans of Kiwanis Pancake Day learn the tricks.

For Saturday’s event at Decatur High School, Mike Pollick of Decatur brought his own blueberry syrup and confided, “I get better at doing this every year,” according to Patrice Stewart.

Mike’s wife, Amy, adds that Mike arrived ready to eat “an obscene amount of sausage” if he liked the taste.

Affectionate pickpocket

Dozens of men exiting downtown bars in Buffalo, N.Y., have been greeted by a woman who hugs them tight, hints at further delights, and then leaves. Pretty soon, they discover their wallets are missing.

Police call her the Hugging Bandit, according to The Associated Press.

“She makes sure they’re rip-roaring drunk,” says Detective Sgt. Tom Donovan. One of her victims tried to identify her in a photo lineup, but he was too intoxicated to remember.

Send stories for You Don’t Say to, or call Weekend Editor Steve Stewart at 340-2444. Or write P.O. Box 2213, Decatur, AL 35609. Daily staff members contribute many of the items you see here. This column appears Sundays and Wednesdays.

Steve Stewart Steve Stewart
DAILY Weekend Editor

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