News from the Tennessee Valley Columnists

Steve Stewart

Is Ardmore lunching on brain food?

Maybe Ardmore High Principal Mike Owens is feeding his students a secret brain food at lunch.

Holly Hollman said Mike’s school recently received the Limestone County Academic Trophy.

The trophy annually goes to the school that has the highest combined average on the pre-graduation exam, SAT, ACT and Limestone County Scholars Bowl.

Ardmore has won it five out of seven years.

Wonder what’s for lunch this week.

Burning rubber

The saying “Where there’s smoke, there’s fire” isn’t always true.

Moulton firefighters rushed to CVS Pharmacy on Court Street on Thursday at about 10 p.m. after a concerned citizen reported smoke coming from the building.

Firefighters arrived and quickly ran a water line across the street, but within minutes they discovered there was no fire.

The smoke was actually coming from teenagers squealing their car tires behind the building, Kristen Bishop reports.

Authorities asked the teens to leave, freeing firefighters to fight real blazes.

Love me, be on time During a Huntsville concert, Harry Connick Jr. was explaining the arrangement of a song when one couple arrived late. Unfortunately for them, their seats were near the front, says Holly, who attended the concert. Harry stopped talking to look at the couple, and apparently the woman told him she loved him. “You love me?” Harry asked. “Then why are you late?”

Good timing

Bentley Vaughan hasn’t missed helping fellow members of the Kiwanis Club of Decatur with Pancake Day in years, but Patrice Stewart says he knew his priorities when Feb. 24 was designated “the due date.”

He said wife Erin cooperated, however, and managed to hold labor off until three days after Pancake Day. Clifford Rand Vaughan made his debut at 4:29 p.m., weighing 6 pounds, 6 ounces.

When the birth was announced at Kiwanis, member John Godwin jumped up. He’s endured ribbing since becoming a father again at 46.

“How old are you, Bentley?” he asked, and Bentley answered 42.

“Y’all need to get onto him, then,” John said.

A test of wills

Maximo the crocodile faces reprogramming.

Keepers of the St. Augustine Farm and Zoological Park in Florida stopped publicly feeding him guinea pigs and quail because he quit performing as required. They plan to retrain him.

Maximo is supposed to walk on a small beach, then go back into the water, jump up and reach for the food, which dangles above him on a pole. This keeps 1,250-pound Maximo fit.

“He knows what he wants to do. He’s testing us,” said senior reptile keeper Kevin Torregrosa, quoted by The Associated Press.

Send stories for You Don’t Say to, or call Weekend Editor Steve Stewart at 340-2444. Or write P.O. Box 2213, Decatur, AL 35609. Daily staff members contribute many of the items you see here. This column appears Sundays and Wednesdays.

Steve Stewart Steve Stewart
DAILY Weekend Editor

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