News from the Tennessee Valley Columnists
SUNDAY, MARCH 18, 2007
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YOU DON'T SAY
Steve Stewart

Honoree, 90, was a man in a hurry

Athens Mayor Dan Williams recalls a humorous moment involving Earl Bowers of Athens, who was 96 when he died March 1.

Holly Hollman says Earl was a well-known furniture builder and once taught woodworking at Calhoun Community College.

When First Christian Church honored Earl on his 90th birthday, the mayor had a proclamation.

“Earl was already standing quietly in front of the congregation with his hands folded,” Dan said.

“I walked to the front and stood beside him, pulled out the proclamation to read, and Earl said to me, ‘Make it snappy, Mayor. I’ve got a hot date.’

“Needless to say, his remark cracked up the congregation.”

Closing the sale

You never know what you’ll find for sale at a thrift shop or what you’ll like at a fashion show.

Edna Garrett of Athens modeled in the Decatur Salvation Army thrift store fashion show March 3 and talked her husband, Jimmy, into it, too.

As he came down the runway, the woman next to her said he looked good in his navy blue dress pants and white shirt.

“I told her I would take Visa,” Edna told Patrice Stewart.

Teachers and bosses

Morgan County School Superintendent Bob Balch introduced the system’s Teacher of the Year at a board meeting, Melanie Smith reports.

Maria Young of Priceville Elementary School didn’t know of the honor beforehand. She told the audience that her boss had tricked her into being at the meeting.

Bob joked that he had enjoyed reading to pupils in Maria’s classroom recently.

“That had everything to do with you getting this award,” he said. He paused a moment before adding, “Just kidding.”

Sandwiches per gallon

It’s a sign of the times when door prizes don’t stretch as far as they used to, Patrice observes.

At one drawing, the last winners got their choice of gift certificates for Subway sandwiches or gasoline.

“I think that’s $10 worth of sandwiches but only half a gallon of gas,” said Lynn Fowler, poking fun at his friends Bud and Stratton Orr, representing Petroleum Sales Inc. and its Bud’s stations and stores.

Reporting a pot theft

A crying 45-year-old woman called police in Napier, New Zealand, complaining that someone stole her three carefully nurtured marijuana plants.

“I am a good person. I am sick of these low-lifes stealing my things,” the woman told a police communications officer, who found it hard to stop smiling.

A community constable visited her to take details of the theft and also warned her that growing pot can have legal consequences, according to The Associated Press.

Police did not take action against the gardener.

Send stories for You Don’t Say to steve@decaturdaily .com, or call Weekend Editor Steve Stewart at 340-2444. Or write P.O. Box 2213, Decatur, AL 35609.

Steve Stewart Steve Stewart
DAILY Weekend Editor

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