News from the Tennessee Valley Columnists

Steve Stewart

Osama flick led to bigger filmmaking

Jon Burleson, 19, has been filming his first full-length film, called “Never Trust a Vampire,” in Hartselle.

Jon and his best friend, Andrew Wasserburger, also 19, had humble beginnings in junior high.

Danielle Komis says they sold episodes of “Mr. Osama’s Neighborhood” for $5 at school. The short film featuring Osama bin Laden (played by Andrew) was a spoof of the classic children’s show “Mr. Rogers’ Neighborhood.”

“It was a big hit at school,” Andrew said.

Spring forward (again)

A Limestone County couple visiting Montgomery wasn’t expecting their hotel to do an April Fool’s Day prank, Holly Holman says.

Buster Lovell said his wife frantically woke him up on that Sunday and told him it was 7 in the morning.

Buster said it didn’t feel like 7. When his wife, Joyce, looked at her watch, it said 6. Why was the hotel operating an hour ahead?

When Buster checked at the front desk, an employee told him the hotel’s computer system still was set for April 1 to be the change to daylight-saving time. This year, daylight-savings time had arrived three weeks earlier.

“We just went back to bed,” Buster said.

Big shoes to fill

The scheduled speaker for the weekly Rotary Club of Decatur meeting canceled due to illness Monday, leaving Decatur Daily Executive Editor Tom Wright scrambling to find a replacement and looking for his dance shoes.

Luckily, Publisher Barrett C. Shelton Jr. came to his rescue, Bayne Hughes reports.

Barrett already had a meeting scheduled that morning with University of Alabama professor Stephen Black. He got Stephen to step in as Rotary’s guest speaker.

Club President Mark Heard joked that if Tom hadn’t found a replacement, he would have had to dance as the Rotarians’ lunchtime entertainment.

Stephen said Tom took the pressure off him. He said that, while he didn’t know if he would be as good as the speaker who canceled, he knew it wouldn’t be hard to top the alternative.

Pastoral puns

The Church of the Good Shepherd, Episcopal, seems to welcome plays on its name, Melanie Smith observes.

The church Web site describes the congregation’s newsletter as “news you can ewes.” The newsletter, posted at, is “The Keep.” David Haff is the webmaster.

Nutritious but hazardous

You could make a pretty good meal from the stuff that gets spilled in shipping.

A tractor-trailer rig overturned on Interstate 90 in northern Idaho, spilling 60,000 pounds of potatoes. Workers pushed the spuds to the side of the freeway and picked them up with front-end loaders.

The next day, a train derailed in the California desert, spilling gallons of blue cheese dressing into a canal.

In its story about the cheese accident, The Associated Press quoted Robert Becker, identified as a hazardous materials specialist.

Send stories for You Don’t Say to, or call Weekend Editor Steve Stewart at 340-2444. Or write P.O. Box 2213, Decatur, AL 35609. Daily staff members contribute many of the items you see here. This column appears Sundays and Wednesdays.

Steve Stewart Steve Stewart
DAILY Weekend Editor

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