News from the Tennessee Valley Columnists

Steve Stewart

Drill sergeant accepted no lapse of duty

Randy Cross is becoming known for the Southern tales he shares with clubs and groups. For one recent club program, the English instructor at Calhoun Community College served up memories of time he spent doing litter patrol under a zealous drill sergeant, Patrice Stewart says.

This was the order barked out for Randy’s group: “If it ain’t green, it don’t grow, it don’t wiggle or God didn’t make it, pick it up!”

That’s good advice for everyone interested in beautifying our area.

The young serviceman got in trouble, however, when half an oak leaf was discovered among the gum wrappers and Band-Aids in his trash pile.

“Cross, are you an atheist?” he was asked.


“Then give God 10 push-ups!”

Pinproof vest

Like most Hartselle police officers, James Holladay wears a bulletproof vest when on duty.

But while taking the oath following his promotion to lieutenant, James also wore the vest, Deangelo McDaniel reports.

“I may need this protection tonight,” he said.

Police Chief Ron Puckett removed his old badge. But the chief called on James’ wife, Dawn, to pin his new badge on him.

Even if she had wanted to follow the council’s suggestion and pin the badge through skin, the vest gave James the protection he needed.

Criticism noted

Athens leaders have criticized the Limestone County Commission about the county making the city pay to collect and disburse its property taxes, and about the county agreeing to let citizens vote on a proposed 1-cent sales tax increase.

Holly Hollman says Commission Chairman David Seibert found an opportunity to respond when the city asked the county to buy its half of the train depot on Washington Street. The city is selling its half for $150,000.

When the county voted to buy it, David quipped, “We can do that with all the money we’ve stolen from the city.”

Send stories for You Don’t Say to, or call Weekend Editor Steve Stewart at 340-2444. Or write P.O. Box 2213, Decatur, AL 35609.

Steve Stewart Steve Stewart
DAILY Weekend Editor

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