News from the Tennessee Valley Columnists
WEDNESDAY, SEPTEMBER 26, 2007
STEVE STEWART | COLUMNISTS | HOME | ARCHIVES

YOU DON'T SAY
Steve Stewart

Baby learns to cheer, but which team?

Six-month-old Clifford Rand Vaughan made his first appearance at his dad’s Kiwanis Club of Decatur meeting last week.

Bentley Vaughan introduced him, saying he would bring down the average age of the 70-ish table where they sat.

“He said his first words this week: ‘Roll Tide,’ ” said his father, an Alabama fan.

Kiwanis President Rick Williams, an Auburn fan, told the dad he shouldn’t be teaching the child “such four-letter words,” according to Patrice Stewart.

Bentley acknowledged that the baby is getting contrary messages from his mom, Erin, an Auburn fan, so he may be saying something like “Roll Tigers” or “War Tide.”

Undivided loyalties

Maybe Paul and Terri Fields of Michigan City, Ind., heard about Tyde and Saban of Hartselle, sons of Alabama fans Tim and Hannah.

Paul and Terri’s team is the Chicago Cubs. When their son was born Sept. 12, they had a name ready.

Wrigley Fields could be the first baby named after the stadium where the Cubs play, says a team spokeswoman quoted by The Associated Press.

If little Wrigley turns out to have different sports preferences from his parents, he can always use his middle name: Alexander.

No labor, please

Morgan County Schools recently began a program — MOMS, or Meeting the needs of Our Maternity Students — to keep students who get pregnant from quitting school.

Morgan County Learning Center Principal Layne Dillard told Bayne Hughes that she knows the inevitable will happen, and she’s glad the center isn’t far from Decatur General Hospital.

One of her students didn’t show up for class because she went into labor.

Layne said she told the other girls not to come to the center if they go into labor, but to go straight to the hospital.

“I told the girls I’m like the maid in ‘Gone With The Wind,’ ” Layne said. “I ain’t birthing no babies.”

Advise and consent

Even when Priceville Mayor Melvin Duran has sole authority to make an appointment, he seeks Town Council approval.

Ronnie Thomas says at a recent meeting, Melvin named Melissa Heron to the Planning Commission.

“What if we all just say no?” Councilman Wayne Dunkin asked.

Melvin, usually ready with a quick response, glanced at Melissa seated in the audience, smiled and said, “She’d probably thank you.”

The council supported the mayor, giving Melissa a unanimous vote.

Fast food, faster concrete

An Alabama Power Co. environmental expert told M.J. Ellington about a college friend who learned how not to drive a concrete mixer truck.

The friend picked up a load of wet cement to take to a construction site.

He cranked the truck and, with the mixer turning to keep the cement mixing, started to his destination.

On the way, he pulled into a fast-food restaurant and turned off the truck’s engine.

Bad move. He quickly learned that when the cement stops moving, it starts getting hard and becomes concrete.

He spent the rest of the summer chipping the mess out of the mixer.

Send stories for You Don’t Say to steve@decaturdaily.com, or call Weekend Editor Steve Stewart at 340-2444. Or write P.O. Box 2213, Decatur, AL 35609.

Steve Stewart Steve Stewart
DAILY Weekend Editor

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