News from the Tennessee Valley Columnists

Steve Stewart

Big decision on smoking is yours to make

Decatur’s new ordinance forbids smoking in public places, but there is at least one situation where you still have a choice.

Louise V. Byrd of Decatur spotted this sign at St. Peter Missionary Baptist Church at Central Parkway and Cedar Lake Road Southwest, where the Rev. H. Middlebrooks Sr. is pastor:

“Where will you be spending eternity — smoking or nonsmoking?”

Test of character

Lawrence County Commissioner Mose Jones didn’t get any takers when he asked 24 applicants for county administrator if they would break the law if instructed to do so by the majority of the commissioners.

The commission interviewed the applicants in a public meeting.

Though Mose said the commission would never ask an employee to break the law, he wanted to know what they would do if the commission told them to do so or be fired.

All 24 applicants said they’d be fired before breaking the law, Nancy Glasscock reports.

Spooked by a reunion

Class reunions can be scarier than Halloween, Patrice Stewart notes.

Judy Gardner Hasting, a member of the Class of 1977 at Morgan County High School (now Hartselle High), wrote a humorous poem before the group’s reunion.

“It’s been 30 years,” she began. “I really want to go. I’ve gained a lot of weight; I pray the lights are low.”

She went on to joke about not being remembered, forgetting names, and not knowing what to say about family, hobbies and wealth.

“I’m just too old to worry,” Judy concluded. “Don’t you agree? I think I’ll let my hair down and just be me.”

Fast recovery

As Eric Fleischauer sat in the “sick child” waiting room in a pediatrician’s office, a flustered mother spoke on her cell phone across the room.

She had waited almost an hour, she whispered; she was running late for work. As she talked, her 5-year-old daughter kept interrupting her. Finally the mother looked up and, exasperated, said, “What?”

“Mommy, I feel all better,” the child said sweetly. “Can we go home now?”

House of fleas

If you read a Daily story last Sunday about a certain house in Decatur, this item from The Associated Press will give you déjà vu.

Investigating a burglary, four police officers in South Bend, Ind., entered a garbage-filled vacant house. They were attacked by a swarm of fleas, which apparently had been drawn to the backyard dog.

“They were all over the place — in our socks and even in our shorts. It was disgusting,” said Cpl. Ken Stuart.

A van took the officers to their station, where they showered with flea and lice shampoo and soap. A wife brought them a change of clothing.

“That killed the whole shift,” said Sgt. Chuck Stokes.

Send stories for You Don’t Say to, or call Weekend Editor Steve Stewart at 340-2444. Or write P.O. Box 2213, Decatur, AL 35609. Daily staff members contribute many of the items you see here. This column appears Sundays and Wednesdays.

Steve Stewart Steve Stewart
DAILY Weekend Editor

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