Here’s a quiz:

Which of the following are reasons to own a paper shredder?

A. To destroy discarded documents that contain Social Security and bank account numbers;

B. To cut up old and unsolicited credit cards;

C. To shred old newspapers;

D. To create confetti that grandchildren can dump in the playroom before Grandmother discovers why they are not making noise;

E. It is a guy toy that every man appreciates having to help pass time on a rainy day;

At our house the correct answers are A, B, D and E.

At an unidentified caller’s house, C and E top the list and she’s had enough of her old fellow and his constant shredding.

She called the other day to ask how she could retrieve an article from the newspaper that may have something to do with the shredding syndrome.

No, she didn’t remember the day the article ran in the newspaper. She was hoping I could tell her. It was a Hints from Heloise column that she meant to clip and save, and she desperately needs another copy. It is Heloise’s list of documents that each of us should save, she said.

She wants to tape the list on the side of her husband’s paper shredder because he apparently shreds everything, even the newspapers.

She said she may have put up the Heloise column for safe keeping and can’t find it now, but she suspects her husband shredded it.

“I’ve looked everywhere, including the recycling bin,” she said, as she tried to laugh while she was still perturbed.

Have they had a fight about his new toy, I asked. You bet, she said, that’s why she plans to post a Do Not Shred list.

At our house, such a sign might read: “Please empty shredder container before Wright and Trey visit.”

Tom Wright is executive editor.

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